Buy it: Obligatory Christmas sweater
I have been a coupled person for as long as I can remember. Even my childhood was punctuated by a series of best-friendships that shared the same intensity and devotion as the Obligatory Christmas sweater romantic partnerships that followed. I was attracted to the simultaneous peril and safety of total dependence on one person. It was thrilling to be at the center of someone’s else’s life, a kind of private celebrity. After a year or two, these relationships would flame out, unable to sustain their own pressure. I made sure never to languish for long. Nothing soothed the pain of a breakup like the salve of new love.
Buy this shirt: Obligatory Christmas sweater